In today’s busy world, no one has the time to commit to a complete relationship. You’re busy with work and your social life, so how are you going to dedicate hours of your day to a person who’s emotionally dependent on you?
That’s why you need a friend with benefits! At the end of the day, while you don’t have time for the sappy relationship stuff, you still need your physical needs met.
This friends with benefits guide will explore friends with benefits meaning and rules, and teach you how to have relationships that are healthy.
What is Friends With Benefits and What Does It Mean?
A friend with benefits or a FWB is a sexual relationship where two people are physical with each other, but not emotionally reliant on each other. Most times, they aren’t even monogamous. There’s a mutual understanding that they only see each other for the purely physical aspect of sex, nothing more.
Originally there was more importance in the “friend” aspect of friends with benefits, but these days it can refer to anyone who’s having a casual sexual relationship. The lack of romantic commitment makes FWB relationships a great way to get your rocks off, and no one’s getting jealous or possessive if someone decides to pursue other romantic or sexual interests.
How to be Friends With Benefits: 10 Rules and Tips
Learning how to be a good friend with benefits is your first step to attaining and maintaining any FWB relationships.
Many local sex site users often search for tips on how to be a good friend with benefits and keep it casual. Here are some of the most reliable ones.
1. Be discreet
There’s no reason to bring up your FWB relationship with other people. Bragging about it will make other people gossip, and that could potentially ruin what you have. Making your FWB public can mean that people will judge her for having casual sex, leading her to resent you for being so open about it, and then causing her to end the benefits with you. You don’t want to deal with all that, so respect her privacy.
2. Be careful who you pick
Finding the right FWB is imperative to having a successful casual sexual relationship. You want someone who’s attractive, but you want to be careful that you don’t pick someone who’s going to get psychotically obsessed with you or fall head over heels in love. On the other hand, don’t try to arrange a friends with benefits situation with someone you already have a crush on. You might think you’ll be able to seduce them into falling in love with you, but it’ll only end with you getting hurt.
3. Set boundaries
When you’re starting a FWB relationship, it’s important to set concrete boundaries that neither of you cross. For example, an important rule could be to never sleep over at each other’s homes. This can be a bad idea because it’s an easy way to subconsciously become affectionate for each other. That means developing feelings, and suddenly your fun no-strings-attached friends with benefits situation is complicated.
4. Have open communication
This does not mean about your feelings! If you feel like you’re catching feelings, end the FWB relationship immediately, or you risk getting hurt. Open communication refers to what you expect from each other, what your boundaries are, and being comfortable in talking to each other about whatever you might desire sexually.
5. Don’t let your emotions get in the way
With sex, it can be very difficult to stop emotions from filling you up. Even if you’re having a great time with the physical aspect of the relationship, you’ll need to regularly do emotional wellness checks to make sure you aren’t falling for your friend. Never assume that just because you’re having a great time physically and you never planned on falling in love, that you won’t. The last thing you want is a broken heart when you realize your during FWB texting that your partner is also seeing other people on the side.
6. Safe sex takes priority
In a friends with benefits relationship, there’s no guarantee of monogamy unless explicitly stated otherwise. That’s why it’s imperative to make sure you have safe sex. Even if your friend is on birth control, you’ll want to use condoms because you don’t know who else she’s sleeping with. Even with these protections, it’s a good idea to get tested regularly. A friend with benefits isn’t someone you should trust the way you would trust a significant other, so make sure you take all the precautions to ensure you don’t contract an STD.
7. Don’t chase
Sooner or later, the magic of a friends with benefits relationship will fizzle. Either one of you won’t find the other as attractive as before, or you’ll find someone else you wanna hook up with, or maybe one of you will start developing feelings so you’ll have to pull away to protect yourself. Whatever the case, have the dignity to end it amicably.
8. Pay attention to her needs
This is one of the most important FWB tips. Since friends with benefits is an arrangement purely for each others’ physical satisfaction, you need to put in extra effort to make sure you physically satisfy her. That means lots of foreplay, asking her exactly what she likes, and making an active effort to take care of her needs. The reality is that because this girl isn’t emotionally attached to you, she has no incentive to keep seeing you if you give a subpar performance. It’s just casual sex with friends, and you don’t want to risk being replaced. So take that as all the encouragement you need to improve your game.
9. Explore fantasies
A friends with benefits deal is where you get to explore new kinks and fetishes with no real judgment. You can’t risk that with someone you’re genuinely romantically interested in, because what if you scare them off? When you have a FWB, you can comfortably discuss new things you want to try, make mistakes and laugh it off, and feel completely at ease knowing you aren’t jeopardizing an actual relationship.
10. Stay Platonic
What is a FWB relationship worth if it’s not platonic? Calling each other lovey nicknames, kissing in public, going on dates are all off limits, and this is one of those FWB rules you can’t risk breaking! Doing all that in FWB relationships means that you’re essentially dating at that point, and that’s not what you want.
How To Find a Friend With Benefits
People often believe that to have a FWB, you have to already be friends. This couldn’t be further from the truth. It’s completely fine to meet a stranger over the internet and purely meet them for sex and nothing else, and it’ll still be considered a friends with benefits type situation.
Anyone looking for friends with benefits will succeed if they start their search in these areas:
- Within a friend group. If you have open-minded friends where there already exists a bit of sexual tension, it’s always worth broaching the idea of having a friends with benefits relationship. Of course, it’s important to ensure that neither person tries to take it further than that. On the topic of how to ask someone to be FWB, you don’t wanna bring it up out of the blue. When you’re in the midst of a flirty conversation, initiate FWB discussions.
- Dating apps. Arguably one of the easiest places to find a FWB, as long as you make it clear on your profile that you’re not looking for a relationship. There are plenty of people on dating apps who just want to get laid, so you have good odds.
- Social circles. There’s always a great chance to meet people you vibe with at parties and other social gatherings. If you seem to hit it off with someone, it’s a good idea to ask them what their opinion on a no-strings-attached FWB situation is.
How To Ask To Be Friends With Benefits
Once you find that potential FWB, the next hurdle to jump is asking them if they want to try that kind of relationship. It can feel like a daunting task, but here’s how you can approach it:
- Only approach someone where there’s already some sexual tension. You don’t want to bring up a FWB proposal to a friend out of the blue.
- Have an open and honest conversation about what you want. Tell them that while you love the chemistry between the two of you, you’re not looking for a relationship but still wanna make the most of what you have now.
- If that potential partner accepts, decide on the rules for the situation. Figure out what kind of limits the two of you have, how emotionally reliant you’ll be on each other, and so on.
To Sum Up
Finding friends with benefits isn’t the most difficult thing in the world. The key is to be presentable, be confident, and know how to make conversation. This alone plays a much larger role than your looks. Be straightforward with your intentions, and don’t try to push for a relationship or exclusivity once you’ve got a friends-with-benefits situation going.
Keep these tips in mind, and you’ll never have trouble finding a FWB ever again!