In 2024, over 50% of young adults in the US hooked up at least once in their lives. Even more, Pew Research shows that the number of people looking for casual sex or committed relationships is 56% for men and 44% for women, which is roughly half of Americans.
It’s great that modern people feel empowered to follow their sexual desires and are open about it. And the numbers from stats show us that the burning question of where to find casual sex is more trendy than ever. This is why we did our digging and gathered all the info on where to get sex for a one-night stand or longer casual encounters. Read on!
What is Casual Sex and What Does it Mean?
Urban Dictionary defines casual sex as having intimate contact with another person without any plans of starting a committed relationship. Also, according to MedicalNewsToday, some people see casual relationships as intimate interactions with people outside the committed relationship.
So, basically, casual encounters are about:
- Mutual agreement on having casual sex and dates
- No set plans or expectations for a longer-term relationship, and therefore, there is low pressure for emotional investment and less stress when compared to traditional dating
- Both partners are free to have casual sex or relationships with other people, as the relationship itself is not exclusive
- There is room for exploring sexuality and different sexual desires with a person who is on the same page
However, there are some challenges to casual dating, like:
- Emotional confusion. People who are not ready or understand the rules of casual sex find it hard to relax and enjoy the experience because of the anxiety and emotional attachment.
- Social stigma. Though over half of Americans have engaged in casual encounters, judgment and criticism still exist, often leading to not mentioning such desires or experiences outside of close circles.
- Health risks. As casual relationships usually involve multiple sex partners, it’s important to ensure the safety of all parties.
- Privacy concerns. Some people engaging in casual dating are already married and in committed relationships. which provides an extra level of challenge. Also, many casual daters are not comfortable sharing their preferences with other people. As such, better be private and use secured dating platforms, fake names, and a burner phone number.
Despite the challenges, there are thousands of people daily who want to get casual sex. If done right, it can be a really positive experience. So, let’s cover the most effective and safest ways.
How to Find a Casual Sex Partners?
Many ways can help you find casual hookups, but some of them are not as effective as others. Let’s explore the most used ones and find the most effective:
- Niche dating apps. According to Forbes Health, 70% of couples who met online form some sort of relationship. This makes joining a casual dating service a great place to connect with like-minded people who passed verification or moderation. But note that not all casual dating services are the same! Join only reputable sites with positive reviews and an active member base in your local area.
- Offline spots. Nightclubs, pubs, and similar popular dating spots can help you find sex partners, yet not all of the single people there are into casual sex but look for more lasting relationships. Do your own research on where people date in your local area (or the city you are traveling to) to have a wider choice of potential dates.
- Casual dating forums. You can find many ad-like posts of people who want to find a sex partner. It can be an option to consider, but it comes with a greater chance of scam, as people behind the post are usually anonymous, and you can’t be sure what to expect.
Though the best way to get a hookup today is to use a specialized dating service, you are free to try different options. And you need to know your game and be active to actually get those dates.
10 Rules and Tips on Casual Sex
Before you start testing your waters on how to get a hook up, you must know what you are getting yourself into. So, here are 10 rules of non-string-attached dating with useful tips that will save you time.
Rule #1: Be clear about the type of relationship you want
A great thing about casual dating and specialized sites is that you are entering an environment of freedom. You can be honest and tell who you want to meet and what for. No need to come up with stories, excuses, and all of that jazz, as all users who are registered on a hookup site want the same.
But even though parties are interested, honesty is important, as it’s the foundation of trust. Both parties should be on the same page for such a relationship to work, and it will also prevent misunderstandings. So, communicate your goals clearly and be upfront about what you expect.
Rule #2: Set clear boundaries
Casual sex might feel awkward at first, as you and your partner are basically strangers. To make things better, set limits so that both parties feel comfortable and respected. So, discuss the boundaries both in communication and in bed. Also, make sure that you talk about how often you chat, whether you date other people and activities you are comfortable doing or not. Also, doing regular discussions during a longer-term arrangement is a good idea.
Rule #3: Be respectful toward your partners
Even though you don’t intend to get married, it doesn’t mean that you don’t need to respect your partner. Respect doesn’t depend on the type of relationship you are in. Being well-mannered is a good way to ensure that both parties are comfortable, can relax, and therefore have a better time together.
To be respectful, consider your partner’s needs and feelings. Do not just say what you want! Listen. Also, avoid doing things that might hurt your date physically and mentally, and be kind and polite in communication.
Rule #4: Safe sex only
STIs are something you don’t want to have. That’s why safe sex is the only way to go when having casual dates. Choose your preferred way of protection, and don’t think that it’s the responsibility of the other party. Your focus is on keeping you safe and unplanned baby-free. Also, it’s worth having regular health checkups. Also, along with protection, have open conversations about sex health and consent. Get tested regularly, and share the results with your partner.
Rule #5: Establish open communication
For casual dating to work out, you need to make sure that both you and your partner feel free to express their thoughts and desires. It will help not only to have a better and brighter sex life but also to make sure that both parties feel comfortable and on the same page every step of the way.
Do regular check-ins and talk about how things are going and where they are heading. Also, be open about feelings and expectations, as they might change over time.
Rule #6: Keep realistic expectations
Don’t agree to a casual relationship with a person you are secretly in love with. It will in 99% lead to disappointment and misunderstanding. Don’t let yourself be fooled that you are in a proper relationship, that the person will change their mind eventually, or see how beautiful, smart, and great you are and want to marry you. That’s more like a plot of a Hollywood movie… In real life, that rarely happens.
You need to be realistic that casual dates are mainly built around casual sex and have a lower level of emotional support, commitment, and other perks than serious ones. And it’s important to stay in the same headspace to enjoy your experience.
Rule #7: Don’t get emotionally attached and jealous
You can get passionate and feel those emotions to the fullest. But catching feelings is what ruins relationships with casual sex partners. Too many emotions often create tension and conflict, which results in fights and nagging, which is what people are running from.
Also, not being emotionally invested too much will help you not feel upset when things are not going how you wanted or the relationship stops. Not caring too much is how you should feel in such a relationship for it to work.
Rule #8: Be ready that it’s not a forever thing
The name itself should give you a clear understanding that this type of arrangement is not long-lasting. Even though some casual couples can date on and off for years, it rarely grows into something serious.
As feelings can change over time and one of the parties might want different things for their love life, it’s important to re-evaluate the relationship and decide whether to change it or stop it. But for it to work, both parties should be honest about their feelings.
Rule #9: Enjoy your experience to the fullest
Focusing on the joys of a moment is the key to making the most of your dates. Usually, such relationships are not long-lasting, so you need to enjoy the moment, activities, and new experiences. Worries about the future are something you should not think about and just keep things light and fun while they last.
The best attitude to have in a casual relationship is:
- If everything feels good, it’s okay to enjoy it
- There is no need to explain where you stand to your friends or family
- Whatever works for both parties in a relationship and in bed is fully okay
- You can communicate your wants and needs openly; there is no need to hide
- My partner is not obliged to share my feelings if they change
- Having no pressure of commitment gives you the freedom to date multiple people at the same time without needing to feel guilty about it
Be able to get loose and enjoy a casual relationship, as it will eventually end. The right attitude will leave you grateful for the time and experience, and the wrong one can cause regret.
Rule #10: Know when to end it
Knowing where to stop is an important skill in life. When you recognize that your relationship no longer meets your emotional or physical needs or it’s just run its course, you better end it for both parties’ well-being. What are the indicators that the relationship should end? Here are the main ones:
- You or your partner feel unhappy
- Your relationship doesn’t meet the needs of anyone in the relationship
- You’re not on the same page in terms of feelings
Also, there might be some more serious reasons to end the relationship:
- You feel like your relationship is abusive
- Your partner doesn’t respect you
- You don’t get the peace in the relationship that you need
- Your partner wants to get serious and you are not there
The key is to understand your feelings toward casual sex and dates with other people right away and stop engaging in it when you don’t want to. You don’t have to commit, feel sorry for the person, or continue going through if the other party doesn’t treat you the way you want.
Now you are equipped with the knowledge that can prepare you for a positive experience while casual dating. Don’t forget to find a trustworthy casual dating site (AKA the best place to find sex partners safely) and enjoy your wild ride!
Final Thoughts
There are so many ways to find a hookup these days that it might be a bit overwhelming, which is why go for the most effective ways to get casual dates—specialized casual dating websites with good reputation. Before you start, make sure you understand the rules and grounds of casual relationships and don’t have false assumptions. Treat your partners with respect and follow your desires without forgetting about safety!